Lonely Runs Both Ways
by Girl on the Wing
Summary: [WiP] CHAPTER 2 ADDED! After being rescued, Jack and Kate find their relationship more unsure than ever before. JackKate pairing; others, including CC scattered throughout.
1. Restless

**Disclaimer: **JJ Abrams owns all Lost-related trademarks.

**A/N:** Post-rescue fic. You know I had to do one eventually. Title is from the Alison Krauss and Union Station album of the same name.

**A/N 2:** A work-in-progress?! It can't be! Yes, my friends, a Lost fic that has escaped the curse of one-shot-edness. Totally a word, by the way, one-shot-edness. For how long this thing is planning on going, I haven't the slightest. But, Jack/Kate, whee!

_**Lonely Runs Both Ways**_

Chapter One: Restless

It was cold.

That was the thing about the island - cold in the tropics meant below seventy degrees. Here, as soon as she stepped into the hotel room, a shiver tread up her spine, like a blast of icy air when the door opened. She rubbed her arms unconsciously. Everything seemed dimmer - the glow of the bedside lamp barely shadowed the edge of the bed, and the outline of the TV against the wall could barely be seen in the moonlight spilling into the room from the sliding glass doors. Kate was so used to the sunlight beaming overhead, creating the effect of a brightness she thought might have often kept them unconsciously sane on the days spent stranded, that anything else seemed mull in comparison.

With hesitant steps, she made her way toward the bed, sinking into the mattress and curling up on the bedspread. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew vaguely that she was exhausted - in the last twenty-four hours alone, it seemed as though the entire world had become focused on the survivors returning to civilization. She could hardly believe it when the Australian authorities told her it had only been a few months since the crash; it seemed as though years had passed on the island that seemed to have its own take on time. The last few days were nothing but a rush, from the moment the ship had been spotted on the horizon and she had felt her stomach flip in a thousand emotions swirled into dueling fear and relief. She could barley move, she was shaking so badly as the ship approached, and she had felt Jack's eyes on her from his place beside her on the beach. When he stood up, she closed her eyes, willing herself to breathe, knowing that he would leave her to face what she'd had coming for an awfully long time alone. Kate somehow hadn't thought it would be any different; she had always been on her own, and there was certainly no reason this should be any different. If anything, this was it.

Then she opened her eyes, and saw his hand reaching out to her. She looked up in disbelief, and his expression was one she could read through the tears welling up in her eyes before he even spoke.

"We're doing this together," he said simply.

They had made their way toward the ship, Kate gripping Jack's hand so tightly she was afraid she might hurt him, but she couldn't seem to let go. He understood, she knew; that was the thing about Jack that had made her keep him close. No matter what, whether they were fighting, arguing over secrets and lies and the layers she had woven to protect herself, or flirting, glances across the beach and smiles reserved only for those moments, or wherever they happened to be in the complicated relationship she had grown to count on as the one stable thing she had on the island, Jack had always understood.

As the ship had approached the docks of Sydney, crowds had already formed against the feeble police barricades - citizens vying for a look at the group of human beings virtually lost in the mysterious plane crash. Around the other side of the dock, flashbulbs were already going off - Kate held up a hand to shield her eyes from the blinding dots on the approaching horizon. Jack glanced down at her, and she stared down at her feet, a fear she hadn't remembered the feeling of for a long time coursing through her nerves. He leaned in and kissed her hair gently. It may not have been much, but it became a little easier to swallow after that.

It somehow got blurrier after that - she remembered being led off the boat, the dock shaky under her feet, and everything around her seemed to bright - the sun and the cameras and the reflections of cars passing. Cars, and buildings, and cameras, and the heavy uniforms of the guards who had taken her by each arm and led her into a separate car. She felt Jack's hand slip out of hers, and suddenly she was much more aware of the hollow in her stomach. There was yelling, questions and her name, somewhere lost in the din of the enclosing crowd, and she couldn't bring herself to look up when it sounded like Jack's voice echoing in her ears.

The car was hot, she remembered – sticky leather and the air conditioner blasting lukewarm air in her face and giant policemen on either side of her. As they rode to the hospital, trailing behind the limos slowly making their way down the avenue, and the muffled yelling of the crowds didn't seem any softer, and shadows of relief were tarnished with the shine of the police badges against her eyes. Kate tried to shield her eyes with her hand, but the policeman next to her clamped his hand over her wrist, cuffing her.

If the streets had been crowded, the hospital had been mobbed – Kate shook her head at the thought of the people milling about and pressing their faces against the glass, and once inside, everything seemed to gleam with intention to blind – white walls, white sheets, metal instruments, and the only thing that made it a little more bearable was overhearing Jack telling a nurse that he was a doctor, he didn't need tests ran, he needed to make sure the other survivors were okay. A smile almost crossed Kate's face as she remembered the nurse's soothing voice telling Jack to calm down, not to move, obviously thinking he must have hit his head awfully hard in the crash. Kate remembered Jack sliding off the bed at the other end of the room and making his way toward her the second the nurse had left the room. He met her eyes and touched her cheek and begged her to tell him if she was okay, if the police had hurt her, where they would take her, all questions she didn't have answers to, and he knew it. He'd leaned his forehead against hers, and she closed her eyes and breathed him in, his presence a comfort she had been accustomed to to ease her trembling, before he was gone once more, looking for Claire and her baby to make sure they were all right. Kate remembered smiling and thinking that was Jack; he always had to be the hero, always had to take care of everyone else, and she shrugged and shook her head when the nurse reappeared.

Kate glanced at the bedside clock; it was approaching ten 'o clock, and she was unsure whether or not the feeling draped across her shoulders was that of being tired, or simply being numb. She knew the Australian police had stationed two guards outside her door, and possibly on the whole floor, pretty much eliminating any chance of leaving to find Jack, not that she had any idea as to where he would be, anyway. She knew the castaways were all staying at the same hotel; stepping out onto her floor hours earlier she'd met Charlie on his way downstairs, and the look he gave her with the guards flanking her was one she wished had made her drop through the floor right then. It was a mix of hurt for not only himself, but pain she knew was reserved for her, for what she might be facing while he embarked on a new life with Claire and baby Grace.

Easing off the bed, she pulled the bedspread back and kicked it to the floor, curling up on the sheets and turning off the lamp beside her. The room faded into darkness, the only glow becoming the brightness of the city lighting up the skyline, muffled by the sheer lace curtains drifting across the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony. She closed her eyes, the first tidings of sleep washing over her, but every few moments she opened her eyes, simply to assure herself the room and the bed and the balcony were all still there, and not just the island playing fateful tricks on her weary mind. Each time she looked, they were still surrounding her, the soft buzz of the air conditioner in the corner wilting into background noise, and she found her eyelids growing heavy once more. Holding the pillow tighter, she exhaled and tried to find the sleep she knew was lurking just outside her restless mind.

Just as sleep began to slip beneath her eyes and quiet the thoughts swirling across her head, her body giving up on relaxation and settling for a somewhat loosened tension, something stirred her – a sound nearby. Over the past few months, she had learned to awaken instantly to any noise out of the ordinary, a habit she knew she'd be hard-pressed to drop, and with a sigh she kicked off the covers, sliding out of bed. The sound persisted, a rapid knocking at the door, even as she switched on the bedside lamp, the darkness disappearing. The She unlocked the bolted door and opened it, and her mouth dropped as she saw the concerned face standing in the doorway, newly shaved and hands jammed in the pockets of a too-big sweatshirt.

She swallowed hard. "Jack."


	2. Let Me Touch You For Awhile

**Disclaimer: **JJ Abrams owns all Lost-related trademarks. Chapter titles and fic title belong to Alison Krauss; she is truly amazing and no infringement is intended. No money is being made off of this stuff.

**A/N:** Originally I didn't mean for the chapter titles to come out as tracks by Alison Krauss, what with the fic being named after one of her albums and all, but…I couldn't help it. grin

**A/N 2:** Ugh, heavy on the angst, kids. I can't help this, either. It's my twisted mind; I haven't the slightest control over what it puts Jack and Kate through. Sigh.

_**Lonely Runs Both Ways**_

Chapter Two: Let Me Touch You For Awhile

His eyes were different than she'd seen in the hospital earlier that day; the sheer panic in the frenzy of the moment had lessened, as had the determination she'd seen flash when the ship had first approached the island and he'd taken her hand. She had never been less sure of anything in her life, but she'd laced her fingers through his and they'd made their way down the beach, the whoops and excited yells of survivors around them leaping toward the ship.

Now, a soft concern shadowed his gaze as he stared at her, and her mouth went dry for a moment, once she had affirmed that he was, in fact, standing in front of her. He looked nervous, she noted, and a bit out of place – she realized she had never seen him in long sleeves before. On the island they had never even thought of it. He shifted his weight from foot to foot before blurting out, "Can I come in?"

Kate glanced at the two guards by the door, but they seemed to be tactfully ignoring the situation – she swallowed her surprise and said quickly, "Of course."

She stepped back to let him through, and closed the door behind him, bolting it shut hesitantly. When she turned back around, he was standing in the middle of the room, watching her closely, and she looked away, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Jack took that as a sign to sit down beside her, and both stared at the ground for a few moments in silence.

"How are you?" Kate found the words slip out of her mouth without her knowledge, and she glanced up at Jack, who didn't seem as startled as she was. He was quiet a moment before answering.

"I'm okay," he said. "As okay as can be expected, I guess." He smiled weakly, and she nodded.

"What about you?" he said softly.

Kate focused on the carpet beneath her bare feet, the swirls of green and brown into a neutral ground color, and replied, "I'm okay."

Jack didn't seem satisfied with this answer, but he let it go for a moment before speaking again. "Have you…have you talked to the authorities at all? I mean…" Kate looked up at him, struggling to find the right words. "Do you know what…what's going to happen to you?"

Kate sighed, running a hand through her hair. "They're not really sure at this point. They're just concerned with keeping me under supervision right now so it looks like they're actually doing their job instead of letting me slip away again." She almost laughed, but Jack simply watched as the words spilled out of her mouth. "They're going to get me a lawyer and all that, and they can't be too awful or the press will be all over it. So I'm safe for now." She exhaled and considered that last phrase, but she felt Jack's arm slide around her, and she complied almost immediately, leaning into his chest, his heartbeat steady with her own. The relaxation that eluded her before now swept across her with Jack's other arm holding her close to him, and he breathed into her hair, kissing her forehead and her closed eyes.

The quiet enveloped them, solace in the warmth of each other on solid ground, at least physically. For the first time since the rescue, Kate thought of how good it felt to not have to worry about monsters in the jungle, or the food running out, or it being too long since it had last rained. For now, the only she thing she was thinking of was Jack.

His voice seemed to come from far away in the haze her mind seem to have slipped into, enveloped in the warmth of his body and his heart pounding steadily against hers, the soft glow of the bedside lamp creating a tender stillness.

"Kate, I…"

She raised her head up from his chest, and Jack looked at her, her eyes searching his for a sign that what was tugging at her in this moment was right. He swallowed, his hands examining her own as he tried to get the right words out.

"I – I've been thinking." His fingertips traced the lines of her palm, his face as calm as he could manage, but the look in his eyes was as scared as she remembered feeling at the sight of the ship approaching the island. It seemed like a thousand years ago.

"I've been thinking that – that when this is all over, when we get to go home, when we – when we get our lives back…" he laughed quickly, as though unsure how his own words to warrant a reaction. "I want you to come with me," he said deliberately, and nodded after a moment, though whether to reassure her or himself, Kate didn't know. Jack met her eyes once more, and she saw a reflection of the look she was sure must be etched across her face. It was all she needed. Kate leaned forward and closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his in a hesitant kiss.

He responded quickly, opening his lips to hers and letting every fear they had shared during the months on the island, every sleepless night, every moment of the longest days of their lives, everything fall away into her lips brushing across his. It was nothing like she'd imagined it would be; through their time on the island, they had never managed to make it even this far, and she knew they were both to blame for waiting so long. Now, Kate felt her stomach flip as Jack's hands slipped across her waist, and she kissed him like she'd never needed anything else in her life, her mind dissolving all thoughts with his hands warm on her bare skin. The feeling grew heady, and she moaned softly against his lips, slipping her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in the short hair that he was so stubborn to let grow. Before she knew it, she was falling backwards into the bed with Jack on top of her, never breaking contact. The kiss intensified as their bodies pressed together, and Kate's hands roamed his back, sliding beneath the oversized sweatshirt he wore. Jack left her lips to kiss her neck, tracing her collarbone with his tongue, and she gasped when he bit just lightly enough for her to feel it.

As Jack's hand slid beneath her shirt to spread across her stomach, and her breath hitched in her throat as she kissed him harder, the warning bells slowly started to ring louder in Kate's head. With considerable effort, she managed to pull away for a few breathless seconds and whisper, "Jack—I—Jack…"

His head rose from her neck, and their eyes met, both breathing hard. Kate looked into the concern returning to his eyes, and she reached up and touched his face gently. "I want to go with you," she said softly. "But I don't know…I don't know what's going to happen to me."

Jack's face was unreadable for a second, and Kate was terrified – what if he ran away from her now? It would be so easy, so easy to let her out of his life, easy to stay as far away as possible…she knew if he left now, she might not be able to handle it, but maybe that's what needed to happen.

Before she knew it, the words were spilling out, faster than she could even form the thoughts preceding them, and she knew her voice threatened to break at any moment, but she kept going. Fears of leaving, fears of staying, of being locked away from the world in front of her after she had only just gotten it back. Not being able to ever make things right again – with her family, with her life, with Jack, with everything she wanted so badly to fix and hadn't any idea how to begin going about it. She knew he would offer to help her, she could see the words forming in his mind before he even opened his mouth, but she couldn't ask him to do that, wouldn't dream of it, and now she found herself right back where she started. After several minutes, she had run out of energy to keep digging herself deeper and deeper into a dark place, far away where Jack couldn't reach her.

Then he took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips, one by one, rolling over to lay beside her. He pulled the sheets up to cover them both. Kate reached forward to pull off his sweatshirt, and his gaze was captivated by her as he slid out of it and tossed it on the chair beside the bed, leaving him in a thin t-shirt. Reaching over to turn off the bedside lamp, Kate turned her back to Jack, the extinguishing of the bulb plunging them into shadows.

Turning to face Jack now in the darkness, Kate was surprised to find she was nearly trembling. It was more than excusable, with the whirlwind they'd been through in the last twenty-four hours, but when she rose her hand to Jack's face, brushing her fingers across the fading scars on his cheeks, the stubble of his cheeks he still hadn't shaved, she thought with a smile, and the lines of his eyes, curves of the island etched in his skin.

He watched her with an intensity that almost made her more nervous, but any thoughts of worry fell away when he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, everywhere his lips could touch. Kate closed her eyes and let herself breathe him in, let the caress of his lips and the soft exhale of his breathing brush her skin. He touched the edge of her shirt gently, almost as a question, and Kate buried her face in his neck as his hand slid beneath the thin fabric of her shirt, tracing circles on her stomach, feeling the curve of her waist. She could barely move, the sheer warmth of the night and the sheets and Jack's hands sliding all over her, and his eyes were darker than she remembered when she pulled back to meet his gaze, stillness and rounded as she felt the slip of his hand over her skin, mapping her, remembering her body. Their foreheads touched, and Kate gasped softly when Jack's hand skimmed her thigh; he just wanted to feel her, to know the scent of her skin against his, and her eyes were half-closed lids in the stirred silence of the room.

The moonlight was shining in white shadows across Jack's quiet features when Kate opened her eyes, pulling back to meet his eyes. She took his hand and placed it on her waist, then reached forward to touch his chest, sliding her hand down his stomach to the line of hair leading lower. Resting her head on his chest, Kate explored his shoulders, his back, letting her fingertips linger on the scars etched in his skin, and when she found the one on his side, the one that healed messier, though faster, than the others thanks to her handiwork with the sewing kit the day of the crash, she looked up at him suddenly, and he covered her hand with his own, pressing it to his skin. He simply looked at her for a moment before closing his eyes, and she kissed his forehead and his eyelashes, touching his face gently before closing her own eyes, surprised to find her heartbeat slowed to match the pulse she could feel from his body. The night slowly began to fade away, and she remembered feeling his arm around her waist, holding her close to his chest, before falling asleep.


End file.
